Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
