are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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