# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
