but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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