I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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