I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
