the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
