My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
