Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
