East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
