Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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