I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I look excited, but its just a facade.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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