So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
