Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
