he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The Olympian is in my bed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
