i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
