she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
