She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
