Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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