I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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