Ambien. No doubt about it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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