Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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