JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
