Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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