Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
