At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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