she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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