wrigley field is MILF paradise
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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