We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
