Porn is love you can see.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
