i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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