I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
