You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
