I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We need to rekindle our bromance
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
