Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
