He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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