The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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