i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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