i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
