I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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