I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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