I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
