hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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