So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
