dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize