friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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