I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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