The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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