Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
