well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
