susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
