id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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