I heard we made out
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
