Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
